Chicken Soup for MY Soul

So my husband and I have this thing. We love to scare each other. I know, I know. We are in first grade. But a good scare makes me sooo happy.
Although, if he gets me good, he knows he better not fall asleep that night. Because I’m patient and I wait...until he forgets to be wary. My brothers and sisters will attest I live for this thrill. I have waited close to an hour just to scare someone before, (back when I had that kind of time…)


The best is when I get Lance to scream like a girl, but then his UFC champ instincts kick in and he fake “fights” me off because he’s so mad. It’s pretty hilarious.

Story #1
A few weeks ago, I found this horrible horror movie that was so bad I couldn’t resist. I can’t even tell you the name of it, but it was probably “Killer Ivy” or something to that affect. I actually abhor horror movies. I really never watch them, but for some reason this one was so lame I wanted to see how it could possibly end. Lance got sucked in and we both finished watching it. After it was over I went into the kitchen to finish washing the dishes and Lance fell asleep on the bed. I walked into our bedroom about 20 minutes later, saw him asleep and couldn’t resist. I knelt on the floor by the bed and snaked my arm up his leg just like the ivy. He screamed like a woman, jumped up and yelled “GET OFF ME!” while pushing me against the wall (he was fighting with ivy in his dream-mind) all with terror in his eyes. I crumpled to the floor laughing. Seriously it was so funny. He was SO mad for 5 minutes because he got SO scared. Then he was laughing uncontrollably and trying to get me back all night. He never did.


Story #2
Sometimes it takes him a few seconds to realize he’s awake before he fully wakes up from his dreams. He’s going to kill me for writing this, (but we’ve probably recounted this to everyone who reads our blog anyways). One night I was sleeping soundly when he flung his arm across my chest and yelled, “SPIDER!” Scared, I woke up instantly and reached for my glasses while turning on my lamp. At that moment he was blocking a “huge spider”
from falling on him and then rolled to the floor to save himself (so it could devour me). As soon as he hit the floor he was awake and laughing at himself. I would have been mad for the forced adrenaline rush in the middle of the night, but his frightened face was too much to handle. That’s one that still makes us laugh.



Story #3

In retrospect, I think I better add something embarrassing about me. This happened well over a year ago. I had just gotten out of the shower and was looking for my clean laundry which just so happened to be right in front of my (second story) open bedroom window (which was really like 4 stories above the street because we were on a hill). I need to say that the road behind us was rarely traveled on, to help explain my carelessness. As I bent over and reached for my clothes

I heard someone yelling my name through my open window. In horror, I threw myself to the floor and then sat up and peered through the window. It was just MY PARENT-IN-LAWS stopped in the middle of the (usually barren) street happily waving up to me. I’m not sure they saw much. I’m still hoping they don’t have 20/20. It was especially unfortunate for all involved because I had just given birth and it could not have been pretty.

This is probably a little like the treat they got to feast their eyes on...except bent over.

Sexy, huh?

(photo courtesy of UtahPlasticBreastSurgery.com)

Let’s just say I have experienced mortification. I finally learned the lesson my parents always tried to teach me. Don’t change in front of your window!